The Roma Report

CLASSIFIED

ATTN: Codename S.O.S

[HIGHLY CLASSIFIED // EYES ONLY]

Pursuant to Section , Subclause , the Agency formally acknowledges the imminent reclassification of the subject [CODENAME S.O.S] D.O.B.

The subject [CODENAME S.O.S] has successfully completed years of service with zero compromise to operational effectiveness.

KNOWN assets include:

  • Visual intelligence capture [PHOTOGRAPHY]: Recently activated; performance exceeds expectations
  • Cultivation and maintenance of unidentified flora [PLANTS/]:

    • Ongoing; results inconclusive but promising
  • Routine reconnaissance and surveillance of “Roma Secret Gardens” [R.S.G.]
  • Civilian morale elevation within CBD perimeter
  • Weaponised humour deployment of “DAD JOKES” High frequency; variable reception; mission success unaffected

Subject remains fully mission-capable.

Celebratory protocol is approved under Discretionary Allowance .

End Report.

DOC-REF: RR-ABOUT-2025

DECLASSIFIED AND APPROVED FOR RELEASE